Just A Game
by umeRi87
Summary: What happens when Sirius and Harry play Mortal Kombat for N64?  Hilarity ensues.  With the added bonus of A Very Potter Musical/Sequel references! I don't own Harry Potter, Mortal Kombat, or AVPM/S


**Heya! I know, I know. I SHOULD be updating "An Always Pure Princess," but I wanted to write a humor fic…or two. Oh, Harry Potter belongs to JKR and all that good stuff…now just read, okay? Or I will curse your arse from Hogwarts to Pigfarts. (Just kidding, I'm not THAT mean, but I will slit your throat if you ever try stealing my cookie again.)**

"C'mon! C'mon! Harder! Harder!"

Harry walked into his Godfather's room, expecting the worst. Well, it wasn't as bad as he imagined. Sirius Black was holding a Nintendo64 controller, screaming at some game.

"YOU IDIOT! ALL SHE HAS IS A FRIKIN' STAFF! RAYDEN, YOU CAN BLOODY _**FLY**_! Now, OWN HER!"

"Hey, Sirius. Whatcha playing?" Harry's Godfather jumped about ten feet in the air at the sound of his voice.

"Bloody hell, Harry! Don't scare me like that!"

"Sirius, I'm not a Dementor."

"Do NOT even joke about that," Sirius said, fire flickering in his eyes.

"Sorry to ruffle your hippogriff. Now what the heck are you doing?"

"Playing Mortal Kombat," Sirius simply said. Harry stared at him for a few moments, puzzled. "Tonks went and bought it for me, because you know, I'm cooped up in this house. It's a fighting game and it's wicked. Sit down," he said gesturing to the floorboards next to him, "I'll show you how to play."

"Alrighty," Harry said cheerfully. "Dudley never had one of these…he was more into PlayStations…and he went through about six."

"What?"

"Never mind…so how do you play?"

"Well you choose your character," he said as he selected Sub-Zero, "and the game fixes you up with an opponent. Great, I have to verse Sheeva…this will be interesting."

"Go Sirius! Oh ew…look at the background! There're nails all poking around and heads hanging from them! EW!" Sirius smirked and the fight began. He pressed the colorful buttons and the people on the screen started punching and kicking each other.

"Yea, A and B are your basic attacks, and you can combine them with other commands to make special moves, like this," Sirius said and pressed a combination of buttons that caused his character to freeze the four-armed alien. Sirius then punched his victim, making green blood spurt from the muscly she-creature. He finished off the fight, having been declared the winner.

"And there you go. That's how you play Mortal Kombat. I normally just press random buttons," the man said with a smile, "You wanna try?"

"Uh…sure?" Harry said and took the three-pronged controller. He picked the character Rayden.

"Oh, he's a good fighter." The fight between Rayden and Sindel commenced. Harry was doing quite well, for a beginner. Sindel barely had any hits on him and had lost a lot of health. "Harry quick, do back, back, forward!" Harry did so and Rayden did a wall smash (flying through the air and ramming into a character; though it is SUPPOSED to be used on walls, who said a Marauder would ever follow the rules?)

"Woah, I won! Cool. This is a nice game. Your cousin rocks!"

"I know, she is related to me. That makes you _totally awesome_." Harry laughed and saw a red and blue package of candy sitting on Sirius' dresser.

"You have Red Vines! Epicness!" Harry grabbed the pack and started eating. Through a full mouth he said, "These things are the best. You can snack on them or use them as a straw!"

"I know! And they're great for smacking people!" Sirius said while slapping Harry across the face with a licorice twist.

"Very funny, Sirius. But really, what the hell _can't_ they do?"

"I know, right?" The godfather and godson took turns playing the game, winning and losing all the same. Harry was getting better and better, with the help of Sirius…and cheat codes. Sirius wouldn't tell Harry how he got the cheat codes; he said it was unpleasant. Harry gave up on finding out the origins of the codes and continuously tried to beat the boss.

"MY GOD!" he yelled as he threw the controller down, "THIS GAME IS RIGGED! Sirius, are you POSITIVE that there aren't any cheats for this?"

"Yea, Harry. Here, let me try," Sirius said, taking the controller.

"Good luck…" Sirius at first was getting his butt handed to him, but somehow managed to get in a few well-placed hits and brought down the boss's health. The problem was that whenever Sirius got hit, the boss took his health. After a very long and grueling fight, Sirius overcame the boss and won the game.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?"

"I pressed the colorful buttons," Sirius said with a crooked smile.

"But – how – what – GRR! I wish I could bomb this game!"

"Harry, calm down it's just a game."

"Right..." Harry said as they watched the credits. They ended and the main menu reappeared. "Hey Sirius, there's a two player mode!"

"Yea, but we don't have a second controller."

"Nothing a little Gemino Curse can't handle, right? I mean, it will make an exact copy, so the new controller should work."

"Good idea," Sirius said as he withdrew his wand from his pocket. He pointed it at the first controller and muttered, "_Geminio_." A second controller appeared next to it and Harry plugged it into the game console. They selected the two player mode and 8 Man Kombat. They each chose three characters, Sirius picking Sindel, Jade, and Kitana. Harry chose Scorpion, Noob Saibot, and Sub-Zero. They were waiting to choose their final characters.

"Sirius, you chose all girls."

"Yea because they're awesome fighters, and well, I'm a ladies man."

"Uh…sure…"

"What? I'm supermegafoxyawesomehot!"

"Wow…just…wow…"

"And hey, you chose all ninjas."

"Just because I lived in a cupboard under some stairs does NOT mean that I can't be epic."

"Whatever…choose your final character," Sirius said as he chose Rayden and Harry selected Sheeva. "That thing disgusts me," Sirius said about Sheeva.

"Yea…it looks like something Hermione created because…"

"HERMIONE CAN'T DRAW!" they both yelled, rolling around on the floor laughing.

"Okay, let the Kombat begin!" Sirius said and the showdown between Scorpion and Kitana began. Kitana got a few quick hits in and then used a combo in which she withdrew fans. Harry's character was down to about half his health, but he got a really well-placed punch in that sent Kitana soaring. Kitana recovered and Scorpion took out a spear and jabbed at the girl. A minute or so later, Kitana won the fight after a head chopping move.

"You suck Sirius."

"Thanks, Harry. Love you too."

"Is that sarcasm I sense?" They both laughed and began another fight. Sindel was pitted against Sub-Zero. After much hair-flipping and freezing, Sirius was yet again the winner.

"Sirius, you play this like a boss."

"Thanks. I enjoy owning your arse."

"Lovely," Harry said with a smile. The next fight was Sheeva versus Jade, but the fighters had been flopped. "No! Why do you have Sheeva? I picked her! I don't even know how to use Jade…"

"Oh, this is gonna be too easy!"

"This sucks."

"This is so not a fair fight," Sirius said as the battle commenced. Harry started pressing random buttons, which did nothing. Sheeva repeatedly threw Jade to the ground and pounded her into the dust. In Harry's frenzy of button-pushing, he somehow managed to knock down almost all of Sheeva's health. In his excitement, he hit a random combo, causing the girl to run the beast through with a staff, and in essence, creating a shishkabob. Jade was declared the winner, and both men were completely dumbfounded.

"You git," was all Sirius could say.

"Did I – did I just win?"

"Yea…oh, boy, YOU ARE GOING DOWN!"

"Oh, no I am not! If you beat me, I will destroy all of your posters!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Yes, yes I would," Harry replied, glaring at his godfather.

"Even the Zefron poster?"

"Especially the Zefron poster."

"How? You can't remove them!"

"I'll get Tonks to burn them…with magic!"

"Magic? GASP!"

"I'm kidding, but I will be ultra pissed if I lose."

"Oh, alright. Well, here's the final battle. Good luck, mate." Sirius and his godson shook hands and the final battle between Noob Saibot and Rayden began.

Harry's ninja used a katatonic blast to start off the fight. With special move after special move, Rayden and Noob both had roughly one well-placed hit's worth of health left. It was like a slow-motion scene in a movie: Harry and Sirius glared at each other and began pressing buttons. Sirius finished first and Harry had no time to block. Noob started wobbling and the words "FINSIH HIM" popped up on the screen, giving Sirius five seconds to use a special move. He applied the combo and Rayden electrocuted the ninja. Harry's jaw dropped as the words "RAYDEN WINS" and "FATALITY" came up on the screen.

"OOOH! WHAT NOW? I OWN YOU, BOY! I AM **SUPREME**! BOW DOWN TO YOUR RIGHTFUL MASTER!" Sirius yelled while Harry scowled. A new screen popped up, with two rows of boxes with different symbols. He selected one and the screen changed yet again to something that looked like a tennis court and had two bars at either end. A ball started to bounce around and the left side that was controlled by the computer hit it towards the other side. Sirius realized he had to move the opposite bar and block the ball from going past it. He missed and a man's head popped up and yelled: "Whoopsies!"

"Dammit…" the ball bounced around and Sirius was met by two more choruses of "Whoopsies!" He managed to get one past the computer and was happy to see the Whoopsies Man pop up on the opposing side. In his eagerness, he missed another easy block. Sirius then looked like he was concentrating so hard that Harry thought he looked like he was on the loo. Harry snickered to himself as there was a very long rally between Sirius and the computer. The ball looked like it was going to be hit back to the top corner of Sirius' court, but he moved a millisecond too late. It swished right past Sirius' bar, there was one last "WHOOPSIES!" and the screen blinked "Game Over." Harry burst with laughter as Sirius looked like he would kill someone.

"SCREW THIS!" Sirius yelled, standing up, "_EXPULSO_!" His spell hit the game console and it exploded, leaving a small fire in its wake. Sirius stood there, panting, his wand still pointed at the spot where the Nintendo64 last sat.

"Jeez, Sirius. It's just a game."

**A/N: So? How'd you like it? Did you notice all 8 AVPM/S references? (I don't own that either.). Please review! Or I'll have the oh-so-manly Umbridge send you endless texts until I'm answered!**


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